A Created Opportunity Outing?

I met up with the girl that I was fond of last week. Had to meet her because she left her phone with me. It was a short outing, but it felt very gd. I felt very warm inside when she came late and she apologised to me, putting her head and hands on my shoulder. I was startled by her actions but it felt warm and nice inside. We spoke a lot during lunch, whereby we chat a lot and had very close eye contact. I wish we could chat and spend that whole day out, but she had something on. We went window shopping together and it was as if, I was like her bf, except that we didnt hold hands and stuff. I really really like her, but does she feel the same way? Its gonna take a lot of effort and I do hope I can win her heart. I just can't stop thinking of her every min of every day. I'm trying to control myself and hopefully in the end, we can be together. She is the only girl that I've ever dated, that I want to share my happiness and sadness with. Its like, I have a goal to look forward to, to be there for her and look after her. The funny thing is, when we are out as a group, we dont talk much. But we're alone, we can talk till the cows come home. Why is that so? Haiz, its so confusing. I can't wait to meet her again, and this time, I hope it will be more enjoyable and fun!

I Believe

At this stage, I believe the girl that I'm after knows I like her. I don't believe that she is unaware of it. Only thing that concerns me now is, does she feel the same way as I do? Or is she keeping this to herself secretively? I really hope I'm not wasting my time on her, and that all goes well. I really don't want to have a scenario whereby it will be backfired and I have to suck it up. I'm really having this terrible feeling especially when we're out as a group, we don't talk. But we are out alone, we can talk till the cows come home. What does it mean? I really want to know the answer.

Anxiety?

Come to think of it, I do agree that at times, I really think that I think too much. I'm trying to stop this habit, but its hard as I'm a sensitive person. Especially now the BGR problem, its just causing a whirlwind in my head.

I always have to tell myself that I'm thinking too much. At the same time, I'm thinking, what if it is real? How?

Maybe in the past, the relationship that I had didn't went well because of this problem. I hope to change myself and it all thanks to my best friend that told me about this. If this goes on, one day, I may drive myself crazy. Have to keep reminding myself not to think too much.

Well, I'm trying to curb this problem by keeping myself occupied with a lot of programmes and activities, its so packed that at times, I couldn't breathe! I hope to complete all this activities soon so that I could do other things that I wanna do like kayaking 2 star and power boat.

I MUST PERSERVE ALL THE WAY FOR MY WOODBADGE AND NYAA GOLD!!!!!