Dilemma

Though this is my 1st week in SISPEC, there are more things to come. My ankle and wrist are giving hell lot of problem. MO said that I should be out of course, but I insisted on staying. Did I make the right choice? I'm caught in the middle. Reasons to stay are pride, new friends I've made, physical fitness and the hardwork I've done to get in here. Reasons to leave are my injuries, not to aggrevate even further. Many ppl have discouraged me in continuing my course in SISPEC. If I were to leave, where will I go? Tmr is my SOC, and I hope my ankle doesn't give me any problem. I will be meeting the specialist soon, hope nothing goes wrong. Its such a mess now. I'm really confused.

Life's bitterness

Deep down in my heart, I feels like this "TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!" Been down on luck lately. First, I failed my driving once again. And this is gonna make me spend more money again. Next, I checked my posting and I dodn't get into OCS. I got into SISPEC instead. My 2 buddies got in, but I didn't. Why? There are some ppl who got into OCS and I honestly feel that they don't deserve it. Why is life so unfair? These has been happening to me for a few years. Been down on luck and all. I hate this feeling, something that you wanted but you didn't achieve it at all. I even feel, that when you help one another, you're not appreciated for who you are. Does it help to be kind? THIS IS FUCKED UP!