Guilt, Sad or Joyful?

For the past few days, I've been in a dilemma with these 3 emotions as stated on the title. Reason why I felt that way becuase of this particular girl that I went out with. Had a pleasant dinner on fri, and we were chatting and taking a stroll in town. We held hands together and didn't bother about the surroundings around us. The feeling was great, and I will never forget that. But, currently, she already has a bf. I know I shouldn't be doing this, but I cant help it. And she didn't mind too. And, when i asked her about her relationship with her bf, she said there's no chemistry, but still hanging on. She even said, if they were to break up, she would want me to be her bf. Was she joking or was she being serious? Was she hinting to me something? I really really have no clue. The past few nights, these thoughts were running through my mind. Sometimes I feel I shouldn't have known her at all. I really hope everything will turn out right for the upcoming says ahead. I agree with this song lyrics, "I pray for the stars to go on shining, cause in my dreams you will love me." by REO Speedwagon.

Purpose in Life

Just feeling bored, rotting away in my lab, unable to proceed on with my experiment, so I decided to write something about the purpose in life.

What is our purpose in life? Many people will give different views of this aspect. A few days ago, I overheard my parents conversation about the purpose in life. I didn't quite agree with my dad's definition, whereby he said that life was meaningless, just waiting for each passing day to go by and he'll be gone. In my mind, when I heard this saying, I kinda felt that way. On the other hand, I felt this shouldn't be the way.

There was a period of time that I felt that way, when things weren't going my way, there a lot of hurdles to attempt and so on. I just felt like giving up my life, end this misery and go up to the heavens. But I realised that I was wrong. I feel that Buddha has given us this life, to search for our purpose in life, not to sit there and let it approach you. Its like a game, to see how we handle and how we face the odds. It may sound ridiculous to some people, but this is my own opinion.

At times, I would just stare blankly at the ceiling or daydream, didn't know what to do. Sometimes, a kind of evil conscious tells me to sit back and waste my life away. I will try to overcome this problem by sit up straight, get my butt off the ground and start doing something. In this lifetime, we only have this 1 opportunity to try out or do things that we want. I would like to have a sense of accomplishment before I go to heaven. I really pray, that all obstacles in my way especially the problem that my whole family is facing, I hope it will come to an end soon, and all of us would be able to do what we always wanted.

I hope these simple positive thinking phrases will help you in a way or so whenever you feel you are unable to achieve what you want or you feel meaningless in life,
"God, may it be a fruitful day for me, for I put my faith and trust in you, that any obstacles that come in my way, i will face it with all my might."
"Whatever that is going to take place, God, I hope it is a lesson that I will learn from and I believe that I will not be defeated."
"I believe, I believe, I believe, I will not be defeated!"
"God, you are there to guide me, and I will follow your footsteps to meet my goals."